Sunset

 

Sunset

This morning (01.02.11) I painted another painting. A sunset above my street, James Street, Plimmerton. One of my painting group told me that I must be angry to paint like that... She was right. When I paint I put my self on the canvas; I express, unknowingly,
my feelings. whether I am in a good mood, or worried about something; whether it is a landscape or a portrait that is in my memory.
During my short holyday up north I stayed with a couple I know for forty years. They also noticed my angry feeling. So I told them that I lost something sacred in my life. But I have not lost my friends.
My feelings are part of me. Some are angry, some of tenderness and grief. I write and paint, I share them, for I know anger, and perhaps my anger and someone else’s can hold hands and do something creative, another painting. It could be a cross.
I only can stand at the foot of the cross of a friend and I know that I am not alone.
I have this awesome responsibility, a gift, to grow through love and pain.
There is no going back. I pour myself in paint, and become vulnerable to the wounding which is life and growth. The sunset over the dark street is also comforting and full of light. There is hope.

Joh Heijnen, 01.02.11